August 1, 2008

What I DON'T want to be when I grow up...

The other night I asked three 12 year-old girls what they wanted to be when they grew up. Their answers were all quite surprising and excessively ambitious:

"An architect." The first girl answered so matter-of-factly, it was as if she was created for that profession.

The second girl replied, "A vetrinarian is my first choice. If not that, then... No, just a vet, I don't have a second choice."

"I'm going to be a Marine Biologist." The third girl stated. {I wonder if I even knew what that was when I was her age...}

By the time I was five I knew that I wanted to go to Beauty School and ''be a bootishan'' {as the 5 year-old Lindsey would freely tell anybody}. But I knew that I would accomplish that by the time I was 18, and that following high school I needed to go to college. What kind of college degree I would pursue, however, was an absolute mystery to me. I was nothing like these three 12 year-olds...

After graduation, I spent a semester in China, teaching small Chinese children. Luckily, I fell in love with teaching, and decided that was my calling in life--now that's what my college degree will be {elementary education, not Chinese children...}



So, for the last several years, I've known just what I have wanted to do vocationally. And that's been nice. Real nice.

* * *

I would consider myself a fairly well rounded person {as far as likes and desires are concerned, not body size!} I have thought that if I hadn't harkened to the call of teaching, then there are other things I might have enjoyed. Well, recently I discovered what I would not want to do.

I would never want to be a wedding planner.

No, I don't hate weddings. No, I don't hate that I'm getting married {Don't worry Tanner! I'm SUPER EXCITED actually. Don't misunderstand this}. No, I don't hate planning--in fact, I quite like organizing things and making everything fit and work nicely. Sure, I would love to spend other peoples' money. Yes, I like beautiful things; more than I ought to probably.

At one point I even thought that my best friend and I should start an Amazing Event Planning Buisness. We both like all those things I said: beautiful things, spending other's money, making things come together, and success.  But alas, that never happened.

I guess that I'm just not loving planning my wedding.  It's a LOT of work, takes a LOT of time, requires a person to make a LOT of decisions {and we all know that I'm a bad decision maker}, occupies a LOT of mental energy, and yields a LOT of stress.  Don't get me wrong, I know that in the end it's going to be amazing {hopefully...} and my reception will be beautiful {hopefully...}, there's just a lot of 'to dos' between now and then.  

It's kind of like this:

Have you even had a paper, or a huge project due in a class.  And you know it's coming up, and you know you need to do it, and you know that when you get it done it's going to feel SO GOOD?  Yet, despite all this you don't want to do it.  More than anything you just want it to be the minute, or hour, of day after the project is due...  You would give anything for that time to be past, because you know that then you would have already done all that work and you would be free.  You know that feeling?  You know what I'm talking about?  

That's how I feel a little bit.  I know that every one always says "Enjoy being engaged!  You only get that once..."  Well, to all those people I say, "Thank you for that advice, but I've already enjoyed over three months of it."  Part of me wishes that today were October 23rd, because then everything would be done...

6 comments:

Tanner said...

OH! I love you dear!

...and I wish it were here to :o)

Anonymous said...

oh i wish that i knew so well what the heck i wanted to do with my life. maybe i will get a degree in chinese children!!! good idea!

gus

Camille said...

Do I know that feeling? Yes--yes I do. In fact, I vividly remember mourning with you through all those late nights that we wished were already finished. Time passes, though, and the hard stuff gets done, and all is well in the world.

And I really feel like I need to call you now.

Lauren said...

I know how you feel. My wedding is in 6 weeks and I am panicked! There is so much to do, not enough time and I won't work on anything. I watch Project Runway for hours! I should be doing other stuff.

Lindsey, tell me if you need any help! In the mean time, let's have a girl's night.

Zach and Whitney said...

Dont panic! Everything is going to be fine. It will all fall into place and on that day you wont even care if something goes wrong. Its amazing how it all works.

chelsie said...

hey i am just posting to give you a link to my blog. i am so glad that you dont have any expectations so that you can't be let down!