What I DON'T want to be when I grow up...

The other night I asked three 12 year-old girls what they wanted to be when they grew up. Their answers were all quite surprising and excessively ambitious:

"An architect." The first girl answered so matter-of-factly, it was as if she was created for that profession.

The second girl replied, "A vetrinarian is my first choice. If not that, then... No, just a vet, I don't have a second choice."

"I'm going to be a Marine Biologist." The third girl stated. {I wonder if I even knew what that was when I was her age...}

By the time I was five I knew that I wanted to go to Beauty School and ''be a bootishan'' {as the 5 year-old Lindsey would freely tell anybody}. But I knew that I would accomplish that by the time I was 18, and that following high school I needed to go to college. What kind of college degree I would pursue, however, was an absolute mystery to me. I was nothing like these three 12 year-olds...

After graduation, I spent a semester in China, teaching small Chinese children. Luckily, I fell in love with teaching, and decided that was my calling in life--now that's what my college degree will be {elementary education, not Chinese children...}

So, for the last several years, I've known just what I have wanted to do vocationally. And that's been nice. Real nice.

* * *

I would consider myself a fairly well rounded person {as far as likes and desires are concerned, not body size!} I have thought that if I hadn't harkened to the call of teaching, then there are other things I might have enjoyed. Well, recently I discovered what I would not want to do.

I would never want to be a wedding planner.

No, I don't hate weddings. No, I don't hate that I'm getting married {Don't worry Tanner! I'm SUPER EXCITED actually. Don't misunderstand this}. No, I don't hate planning--in fact, I quite like organizing things and making everything fit and work nicely. Sure, I would love to spend other peoples' money. Yes, I like beautiful things; more than I ought to probably.

At one point I even thought that my best friend and I should start an Amazing Event Planning Buisness. We both like all those things I said: beautiful things, spending other's money, making things come together, and success.  But alas, that never happened.

I guess that I'm just not loving planning my wedding.  It's a LOT of work, takes a LOT of time, requires a person to make a LOT of decisions {and we all know that I'm a bad decision maker}, occupies a LOT of mental energy, and yields a LOT of stress.  Don't get me wrong, I know that in the end it's going to be amazing {hopefully...} and my reception will be beautiful {hopefully...}, there's just a lot of 'to dos' between now and then.  

It's kind of like this:

Have you even had a paper, or a huge project due in a class.  And you know it's coming up, and you know you need to do it, and you know that when you get it done it's going to feel SO GOOD?  Yet, despite all this you don't want to do it.  More than anything you just want it to be the minute, or hour, of day after the project is due...  You would give anything for that time to be past, because you know that then you would have already done all that work and you would be free.  You know that feeling?  You know what I'm talking about?  

That's how I feel a little bit.  I know that every one always says "Enjoy being engaged!  You only get that once..."  Well, to all those people I say, "Thank you for that advice, but I've already enjoyed over three months of it."  Part of me wishes that today were October 23rd, because then everything would be done...

Is this how it feels to be grown up?

I guess I'm grown up...

I'm out of high school.  I am financially responsible for myself.  I'm taller than 95% of the parents I know.  I'm far past being legal (age wise) as far as the law is concerned.  Im getting married in less than 3 months.  Yup, it seems that most people would consider me a 'grown up'.

It's strange, really.  I mean, sure, according to the above-mentioned facts, I'm a grown up, but I still have a lot of kid in me.  Just take a look...

I like to act like a raptor.

Sometimes I have crazy hair and make faces to match it.

I enjoy having 'crazy face competitions.'

My brother Brandon and I, we love to be insane and make people laugh.

I mix it up when I can.  

There's a bit of inconsistency here: reason tells me I should be grown up, yet it's undeniable that I'm not wholly ready to be the boring-kind-of-grown-up.

This is my mom.  (Well, my mom, sister, and me if you are going to be specific.  But my mom is in the back.)  She's VERY grown up, and I'm pretty sure she would never do any of the things I did in my pictures.

When I was younger, I always thought that when I grew up I would be just like my mom!

I don't know how I expected to get there, but I just knew that when I was grown up I would know how to cook, clean, manage children, be a good wife, be the kind of mother she was, know all the kinds of good questions to ask at the doctor's office, sew magnificent things, everything like that.  Yet here I am; apparently grown up, and I can do some of those things, but it's just not anything near what my naive childish mind thought, years ago. {Yes, I am somewhat like her already.  I catch myself saying things she does verbatim, like "They're both good in their own ways" and "That's not a very wise choice, is it?"  I just wish I could be more like her in the cooking sense...}

So I guess for now I'll say that I'm partially grown up...  But not all the way...

Last Resorts

My roommate would want to kill me if she knew I was writing this blog right now. You see, I have SO MUCH homework. Before I go to bed tonight I need to write 3 papers. put together a presentation and handout, find and read 4 articles, read from my textbook and take notes, and do a take-home test. I have class in 5 hours and 18 minutes (that's not including driving, parking, and walking time). Right after my class I have to go to my ward FHE where we are having our first Roadshow practice--I'm the director. So you can see, it is a fairly crazy day with lots to do, and writing a blog is probably one of the last things I should be doing. I thought about cleaning out my closet and getting rid of all the clothes I never wear anymore, but my roommate warned me that I would be really and truly sorry if I did, because she would NOT be happy when she got home... So here I am, writing a blog (something that I have been meaning to do for quite some time actually), avoiding everything that really needs to get done.

Last night I had a waffle party here at #5 Hillside. I made waffles and people came over and ate them and mingled and ate. A few of my friends performed musically. Derrick Played a few fabulous numbers on the cello, then Steffen, Peter, and Josh played the Guitar. When there were just a few people left, Steffen pulled out the Phantom of the Opera book out and played the guitar while he and Lisa (my roommate who is a music major at ASU) sang. It was really fun. I enjoy Sunday evening get togethers.